Adventure!

New New New

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:17:52 GMT

New New New trouille
trouille
trouille
trouille

Will You Buy Me A Grizzly Bear?

Fri, 19 May 2006 08:36:39 GMT

I still have my sense of adventure.

I think that is very important in a person.

But Sun Chips and George Romero are pretty sweet, too.

Sun, 14 May 2006 21:00:25 GMT

Everything in this past week has been amplified magnificently.

I won't remember you.

Two Days!

Thu, 04 May 2006 05:25:35 GMT

I'm so excited!
And I'm coming back soon, I promise.
I'm spending all day tomorrow packing and writing a checklist,
and boy do I wish I had Mme Beals to say "Soo-Pear!"
I'm getting everyone souvenirs, text me if you'd like something special. :)

Fortune (Ate)

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 03:06:44 GMT

Today was another good day!
My hairdresser wants me to be a hair model ahahafaha.
As if my hair isn't destroyed enough.
I moved my bed, and I think it promotes more good thinkin'.
Oh, and I still believe that I believe in fate:

Glamour shots are not my game:

Ramune!

I'm smiling :)

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 00:18:49 GMT

Finally!

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 21:27:07 GMT

ZLH IS UP!
Ugh, it's still a temp. layout. But yes!

Mammaw

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 05:45:22 GMT

After a certain age, no one talks about what they want to be when they grow up. I think this is because at some point, we know we’re still children, but we don’t want to admit that we aren’t adults, and by saying “When I grow up, I want to be a firefighter”, the child in us would be anticipant and fervent, while the adult would feel empty, because we are not, in fact, firefighters. And so we do nothing but fiddle with things like cameras and friends until we are launched into jobs at which we’re underpaid and over-worked, at which point we’d like to go back to being sixteen, and make sure that every day, we tell ourselves and all of our friends “When I grow up, I want to be anything but bored.”

She didn’t state it carelessly, or wordlessly, she simply said “When I grow up, I want to be a psychiatrist.” And a stunned smile nearly wiped my face clean of features, save for lips and teeth stretched from temple to temple, and the countless grins of illumination in my eyes. Not because I’m partial to those of that science. But because after going so long without hearing a claim so subtly magnificent, and composed of the simplest nine words and a noun that never really matters, I remembered being four years old.

I lay on the kitchen floor. It was aged from some shade, to some shade tinted yellow, and I could stretch my thin arms to my greatest ability, and never touch the walls. I was staring at the ceiling and my head rushed like shaken water inside my skull from obsessing my eyes with the smoke-stained light fixtures above. It was dusk, because the shadows fell sharply from the counters and my great-grandmother’s face was hidden in the dimness. The curtains were lace, and the clock on the wall was ticking. I loved to lie on the kitchen floor.

“When I grow up, I want to be a zoologist.”

The amused rejoinder only frustrated me, but after living only four years, anything could do that. Her voice was marred by an incessant intake of cigarettes and coffee, the kind in metal tins, but it was the most kindly voice in all of Maryland and Virginia, possibly the world. “Just yesterday you wanted to be a doctor.” I loved her to death.

I wanted to be a zoologist until I was twelve, and then I didn’t want to be anything, so that I didn’t have to be nothing. I had forgotten my great-grandmother until now. And now, I know what I want.

When I grow up, I want to be a Child.

You Provide The Birdbath, I'll Provide The Skin

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 00:46:42 GMT

I think the worst feeling would be because of knowing something.
Something like, it's better not to do anything, than to do something and have you dislike it.

Fuck the transition between terribly upset and angry.

EVERYTHING IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
Thankyou, autism, for rendering me of my ability to think like a normal person.

I'll be a stock broker and I'll get me a wife

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 05:57:47 GMT

This tumbling sensation is the most masochistic of feelings, but the sweetest nonetheless, and though it’s masochistic; I don’t have the heart to call it bitter at all. I’m wrapping myself in another’s mind, witnessing things I’ve never known or seen, and relishing in feelings I’ve yet to feel. And such a prospect it is, bundled with so much hope and anticipation for the future, for black trees silhouetted against the north’s dimmest skies, panoramic and composed from the passenger seat of a rust-aged car filled with cigarette smoke and teenaged bodies with faces I’ve never seen, and know like home. I’m pouring this picture into my memories and for just tonight, every hunger and yearning is temporarily satisfied by the memories I’ve adopted. I’ll take the emotions and twists in a voice via phone, and I’ll reconstruct them to fit my thoughts like a glove, the kind that clutch wintry hands just enough to keep me feeling fresh and energetic, and warmer than a furnace in December. I feel it in my skin, I know it like I know things I won’t forget, like 8219 Bock Road and that my father’s favorite color is green or blue, depending on the month. I know that I can pivot around this love like dancing- though I’ve never danced-and never falter or feel irresolute, so long, so long as I’m reassured by the most futile of words, because they will be the gloves, the ones that keep me warm and certain.

You hold my arm and wait forever

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 20:09:19 GMT

Yesterday was amazing.
And even though it was hot and gross,
after the sun started to set, it was beautiful.
And we were chased by geese.
What a rush right.

More to come when I'm not exhausted.
And I miss you, Adriana.

She Told Me To Stay

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:14:49 GMT

I'M SAD I'M SAD I'M SAD I'M SAD
I hate the shallowness and egotism in people.
I hate the carelessness and recklessness in people.
I hate the mean and angry and stupid in people.
I hate it when people say things and don't think of how they might affect others.
And I hate how quick people are to point out hypocrisy, and how defensive when accused of it.
I hate when I say "Thankyou" and I don't hear "You're Welcome" in return.
I hate when I say "Sorry" and I get no response.
I hate everyone who claims to be my friend and talks disrespectfully about me, or uses me, or hurts me.
I hate when I make something, and people criticize it negatively.
I hate how people find it so easy to insult me.
I hate how people find it so easy to take advantage of me.
I hate how easily I trust everyone.

And I hate that I've been given the feeling of hate at all.

But I love everything that happened before today.

Pretty Little Femur Sitting in my Cherry Dream Boat

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:06:19 GMT

Tuesday was the zoo day, and I had an amazing time,
even if we couldn't have lunch at au bon pain.

But right now, I'm just kind of sad.
We just left Josh at the airport,
and I miss him a lot.
I'm bad at goodbyes.

Rawr, l0l.

I Went Away

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 00:46:14 GMT

This weekend was so goooood.
And yes, it requires three extra letters to emphasize the goodness of it.
Yesterday I did so much that I slept until 4 today.
I love dc :D

Saturday was the coldest wettest day ever,
and the museums were ridiculously crowded,
so Haley, Josh, and I found the Cherry Blossom Festival via McDonalds sign
and soaked up the asian amazingness.
Along with bottles and bottles of various-flavored ramune. Mmmm

And then on Sunday we hung out at Dupont and laid around,
then Josh & I went to the monument and it was beautiful.

Speaking No One

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 02:23:31 GMT

Today was wonderful, amazing, etc.
I seem to have developed a terrible habit of simplifying my feelings into generic terms and posting them on livejournal. I suck. Maybe I'll start writing again.

A Holiday For A Hangin'

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 15:18:38 GMT

I figure it's a pity that I'm sad even when I'm happy sometimes.
But I'll use it to my advantage.
If we could only hang out once, what would we do?
Tell me all about it.

Unicorn,

Yr City's A Sucker

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 01:11:38 GMT

So, today I took my dog to a park by the Potomac,
ingested sushi, Peach Snapple, and an actual home-cooked dinner.
And got a bunch of other neat things done.
I'm so happy. So so so happy.
And then I tried out Pete's Sony. Oooh baby.

And here's me, sleepless and in pj's, somewhere in Northern Florida.